The past 4 months I’ve been spending a lot of time running. I’ve run farther than I ever have before and my weekly mileage just keeps going up. On June 1st I will be running my first (and probably only) marathon. I haven’t blogged much during the process because I haven’t been able to put words to the emotions and I’m just so tired all the time (and not sleeping well either).
The last few weeks have been really tough for me. My 3rd pair of shoes (I hate when shoe companies update a shoe) of this training cycle was causing stress on a certain part of my foot which led to perineal tendinitis. I was almost 6 miles into my first 16 miler (and feeling really good) when I suddenly had a sharp pain in my foot. It hurt to even walk on it. I couldn’t run anymore but was over 2 miles from my car. I started limping towards my car (it was Easter Sunday) until a nice woman stopped and offered me a ride. I went to my sports massage therapist (who’s AMAZING) and he helped a lot. He knew what the injury was and recommended a podiatrist to confirm it. I spent the week on the bike and was cleared to run by the podiatrist by the weekend.
I’ve definitely been struggling with the higher mileage. I have been doing most of the runs alone and mentally it’s just tough. I’m not fast so these runs take me 4 hours or more. This past weekend my 18 miler took me 4:40. I had a breakdown at mile 12, called my mom and cried to her about how I couldn’t do this. At that point I was ready to just give up and do the half. But then I started to think about all the time and effort I’ve put into this. And I thought about how I would feel when I told people I gave up on my goal. Then I realized that I only have to be miserable two more times and I’ll be able to say I finished a marathon. I’m definitely not as prepared as I would like, but that’s due to injuries, not any lack of planning. My mileage is lower than I or my coach would like, but my lack of base and injuries have made it hard to add higher mileage without risking other injuries.
Next weekend I’ll be going for 21 miles. I will definitely be looking for a new route because I’ve definitely worn out the river trail the past two weeks.
This is just so hard but I want to cross the finish line so badly. And I have to control my emotions and win the mental race to get there. I struggle with the mental aspect EVERY run. The marathon is really where your mind plays a huge role and I just haven’t gotten my mind game right. I have self doubt every run, I know I haven’t been doing this very long and I’ve never really put the time in before. This time I’ve given it everything and I’m just not sure it’s good enough. I’m not a quitter though and I’m going to keep trying. Maybe something will click this weekend, or maybe I’ll be miserable, but I will cross that finish line June 1!
If you’re in Atlanta and want to keep me company for a few (slow) miles let me know! Or if you have a good 21 mile route with water stops give me ideas!